How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Hierarchy
by Kachimoochi
Summary: Dr. Strangelove interpretation in the Mass Effect Universe. When the First Contact War didn't end, both ends of the galaxy faced one another in eternal war. Either side possess a weapon capable of eradicating the other. All it can take for complete obliteration of them all is a single mistake from either side. But nobody's stupid enough to make one... right?
1. Chapter 1

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Hierarchy

By Kachimoochi

Chapter I

There was thought to be a time in which the First Contact Incident was only that, an incident. Most thought than when the new species was introduced to the Citadel for peace, that would be that, and all war would have ended. No person in the entire Milky Way could have expected the advent of a new species, could mean the downfall of all, peace seemed so easy, surrendering seemed so hard.

Either side was too gullible, to prideful, to closed-minded, thus there was no peace.

Both of the species that met one another, Human and Turian, started off on less than ideal terms. Humanity explored a technology which it didn't understand. Turians shot first and asked questions later, especially to their would-be invaders. Shots were exchanged, and casualties were shared.

Even though both had long suffered war throughout their histories, it seemed like surrendering to one another was a frontier too far, a too big swallow of pride. Human, Turian, they were both more similar than either would like to admit. Both took absolute pride in their militaries, they were extremely territorial, and neither would ever admit that they were wrong.

Such is what the diplomats of Turian kind and Human kind discovered when they met at the Citadel wishing to broker peace. The men of words wanted peace between their species after such a horrid misunderstanding, but it wasn't them which really held the power. The commanders on the frontlines held the power, and wielded it through robotic foot soldiers, walking stiffly and slamming their hands to their foreheads with no self-awareness. When their superiors didn't surrender as ordered, they only followed their superiors.

What resulted was a long-stretched war between the races, planet against planet, and species against species. Neither side would disavow their defiant commanders, in fear of having a non-subservient military exposed to the eyes of the other. Both sides so prideful, not wanting to expose their weakness to mortals in common.

It seems so stupid when it's written on paper, but killers don't write, they kill.

Time passed, hours, days, months, years, decades, and finally a full century. In which time it seemed like the galaxy had frozen in time. Besides Humanity, all races had taken sides with one species or the other. The Turians allied themselves with the Krogan and Quarians, having similar relations and promising the Krogan a cure to the Genophage, a false one of course. The Humans allied themselves with the Asari and the Salarians, sharing a drive for knowledge, but an equal compulsion for violence. Drell, Volus, and Elcor acted as free agents, selling their services to the highest bidder.

The true tragedy was that all technology seemed to be frozen in time as well.

What could have been a time of discovery, of sharing technology and ideas only produced a market for death. New weapons of mass destruction were being bought and sold every day, never used, but always paraded. The once hot war had now gone temporarily cold, either side stockpiling weapons like there was no tomorrow, as well there could be. What could have resulted in new inventions in health and intelligent technology was no reduced to a war economy, mainly instigated by the Volus, naturally.

Humanity went back to what it does best, designing missiles capable of travelling lightyears throughout space to hit Turian-sympathizing targets. Turians as always invested in their impressive fleet of starships, surrounding all Human-sympathizing planets and species, holding them under near subjugation.

The faux-pleasantries would be exchanged between the two warring species in neutral zones, like the Citadel, after all, the media proclaimed the present time to be a time of peace and healing. It wasn't of course, it was a time of building, and waiting, and watching, and spying. Most Humans were ordered to return to their home worlds, as the same as the Turians had ordered. Either side was centralized to their planets, waiting for weakness, waiting for peace.

The war which was still referred to officially as the Relay 314 Incident, or unofficially The War of the Species, continued on far away planets and territories. They were mainly fought on large moons and asteroids, each side, Turian and Human, battling over minerals hidden deep within the structures, each vehemently ignoring the orders of peace still by their higherups.

The Turian home world of Palaven was unrecognizable to what it had been before. The exchanges between the Krogan and the Quarians had led to them adopting the Turian Homewood as an adoptive one. Each species worked side by side, all but eliminating their prejudices, even for less than genuine reasons. The planet was now only served military purposes, every man and woman were now required to serve in the military permanently, not even having the option to leave eventually. This left them at the mercy of the Elcor, of which mainly held farming positions on their planets, they gouged them for every credit the Hierarchy possessed.

Earth wasn't faring much better. Though the media on Earth would say that Humanity had been completely united in the face of the new galaxy, it was all a massive sham. There was infighting between certain groups of Humans, as there always was, which let the Asari use such emotions as distractions to gain more power over the Humans. It seemed that every species within the Milky Way was backstabbing the other, perhaps being infected by the greed and pride of the species they represented, or maybe giving in to their own nature.

There wouldn't be much time left to tell.

**Palaven: Moon #2, Ryunoi: Hierarchy Military Base #349**

One of the most secure and powerful military bases for the Turian Hierarchy was base #349 on the moon Ryunoi. It has a population of 347 soldiers, 1 commander, 30 captains, and 6 exchange officers. The base was led by the decorated commander Killovius Uae, a quiet, tall, and powerful Turian who boasted the murder of at least 300 Humans, innocent or otherwise. For the past three days he hadn't been seen out of his office, he didn't eat or sleep, he just prayed.

He prayed to the Spirits for blessings, and ended by praying for forgiveness.

On the opposite side of the base, in the telecoms area, a Quarian exchange officer was reviewing reports on his console. He was dressed in the armor of his people, with his face possessing the standard purple screen that Quarian officers possessed. His armor was black and grey, in effort to fit with the equally drawl uniforms of his adopted compatriots.

His name is Ino'sent Vas Personyl, and he truly didn't want to be where he was now. Though he gave off a strong and perseverant personality to the co-workers and subordinates, he was hopelessly shy and docile. He'd never killed anyone in his life, and it had only been his familial connection which earned him the prestigious position of an exchange officer to the Hierarchy.

Killovius was aware of this of course, and tried his best to train his officer to become more assertive and confident, though he gave up on this almost immediately and ignored him afterword's. He mainly occupied Ino with busy work, or something in which he couldn't interfere with his job or his men's.

The current task that Killovius presented to Ino gave him a serious case of terror. The Quarian looked upon his console, puzzled at the order given to him by his benefactor, though he leaned it was better to do what the commander said, and ask questions later. It still made Ino shake as he gave the order to the appropriate agent as he typed the orders on the virtual keyboard, but he did so anyways. Ino feared Killovius more than he feared repercussions from the hierarchy.

Just as he finished sending the order to the agents, the comm on his Omni-Tool activated, the sound ringing in ear from the silence before. He activated the comm and answered squirrely.

"Yes, Commander Uae?" The Quarian spoke, his voice squeaking slightly

In his office, a lone figure sat alone in the corner. Commander Killovius held his massive wrist to his face to contact with his exchange officer, in between sips of Turian brandy. There were no lights on in his office, and much of the office lay in ruins. Papers, modules, and other folders littered the tables, walls, and the floor. No soul had seen him in days, and he imagined none would see him again.

"Are you alone?" A deep, dark, dual toned voice commanded through the comm.

"Is that you Commander?"

"Of course, it is! Now answer the question!" The deep voice roared.

"Yes s-s-sir, I'm am all alone, sorry for not answering immediately" Ino stuttered, closing his eyes in embarrassment.

"Don't apologize Ino, I keep telling you that! Be a man! And besides, call me Killovius" The Turian spoke slightly lighter, and more neutral.

"Yes sir, sorry, I mean I'm not sorry, I mean…may I ask the reason you called…Killovius?" Ino said, remembering to sound more authoritative"

"Have you given the order?"

"Yes Killovius, the starfighters are holding at the point of no return, just as we rehearsed"

"Now listen carefully…what's about to happen…well we can't make any mistakes understood!"

"Commander?"

"What I need you to do is to set the base on red alert, have all the men report to their battle stations, and move all civilians to the underground"

"Ah, marvelous Commander, I didn't know we were taking this drill so far, but practice does make perfect"

"I'm afraid this isn't a drill, this is the real deal, I've just gotten word from Palaven, we've lost all contact"

"Have we? I hadn't noticed anything" Ino argued, confused even more so now.

"I and I alone was given a channel directly to the Hierarchy on Palaven. I was instructed that if the channel ever went dark, then the planet had been overrun, by what I don't know, but the day is here" The Turian spoke, convincingly, slithering another sip of brandy down his throat.

"By the Ancestors! The Humans are making their move? That's foolish, but I agree, there hasn't been any contact with the planet all day" The Quarian spoke confused more than before.

Just as Ino said the words into his comm, the screens displaying the Planet Palaven had mysteriously shut off, along with the live feeds of the outside of the base and all the comms of the bases on and off the planet. It was as if an EMP had burst over the moon, cutting them off from the entire Milky Way, this was unprecedented.

"Commander! Our comms have been deactivated…and we've lost our feed with the Milky Way. What's going on?" Ino now spoke frightened into his wrist device.

Killovius smiled, to himself. "I told you boy, it's time…but luckily there's a plan. I need you to open an emergency comm channel to the agents holding at the point of no return, give them the instructions to execute plan R!"

"Commander, might it be better to send a distress signal to the other bases? Perhaps they could come and assist us?" The Quarian inquired, already sending the order through the emergency channel to the agents.

"They probably have the same problem as us, and they probably are already bombarded by those roundskull forces!" Killovius roared, "We have to look out for ourselves now"

"What now Killovius?" Ino said shakily.

"Firstly, deactivate all comms, even if they come back on it's probably a human trick, you know what those Salarians scientists can whip up. Next, make certain those agents obey the order I've given even if they're confused by it"

"What is Plan R, Commander?"

"It aint gonna save us Ino, but it's gonna make certain we get the last laugh" Killovius said softly, and ominously.

"Sir?" Ino now whispered, quaking at the knees now.

"We may be the last of our kind not already killed by the Human menace, we just need time to prepare, when you're done giving the orders, make your way to my office, I want you to ride this out with me, understood?"

"I-I-I…Yes Commander"

"Yes What!?"

"Yes Killovius"  
Ino fiddled with his Omni-Tool a little more, frantically searching for a way to contact any being from any of their bases, to little avail. Once he exited the comm channel, he searched every channel in the database, noticing that all of them were responding normally, not distressful in the slightest.

Ino imagined that this was a Human or Salarian trickery, knowing that the Salarians were meticulous when it came to technology, having learned from mistakes centuries in the past. So Ino ventured to clarify the code to the agents in their starfighters orbiting around the Sol Galaxy, a precautionary measure for any Human aggression. Ino clarified that Plan R was not a test or drill, but rather the real deal.

The starfighters exited from their orbit and made their way to the Sol Galaxy, not using the Mass Relay until absolutely necessary, wanting to conserve the element of surprise. The starfighters knew their mission, it was one they didn't expect to return from, but they were ready to do so never the less. The Turian war-like honor was unsurmountable to all, sacrificing any thing or person for the betterment of the Hierarchy, they never occurred if such a thing was worth protecting, they weren't programmed to.


	2. Chapter 2

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Hierarchy

By Kachimoochi

Chapter II

**Palaven: Moon #2, Ryunoi: Hierarchy Military Base #349**

What appeared to at first be a drill soon devolved into a frantic cacophony of confusion and aggression. Soldiers ran out of their barracks, some half armored and most sleep deprived. Drill sergeants stood at the thresholds of every door slapping and swatting soldiers as they ran from their barracks, Turian discipline usually revolved around violence.

The Turian soldiers sprinted firstly to their barracks to clothe themselves in their standard armor. The armor required minutes to fashion properly to a Turian's body, such an amount was unacceptable to the heavily armored and threatening drill sergeants. The ones that didn't fall to the ground under the merciless bombardment of "discipline batons" set upon them by their drill sergeants then started in a mad dash to the armory.

The somewhat slovenly dressed Turian soldiers then piled in the armory, equipping their standard issue rifles and a handful of grenades. The drill sergeants, though few would admit, were savage and barbaric. It was a common form of amusement among them to grab a grenade from a soldier and pull out it's pin, right before tossing the grenade and its virtual pin on the ground for the soldier to collect. They would laugh cruelly as the young cadets, some as young as 14 scrambled for the objects in effort to save their lives.

There is much debate as to why the drill sergeants are as cruel as they are, but their stands once possible explanation. The First Contact war had lasted thus far for over a hundred years, and had impacted every Turian for the worse. Many had lost their loved ones, their limbs, and undoubtably their minds. Turians, of course, didn't believe in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they only believed in cowardice which needed to be beaten out of its inhabitant.

To any Turian, weakness was unacceptable, especially these days.

The ones that didn't enter a traumatic trance and were procedurally beaten by the drill sergeants as they disarmed the grenade entered an equally mad dash for their Omni-Tools. Omni-Tools were expressly taken from each cadet after their missions and training. This served two purposes: firstly, to weaponize it with exclusive military protocols, and secondly, to cut the cadets off from all news of the outside world. The Turians couldn't afford their soldiers to be corrupted by differing views across the galaxy.

It they outran their sergeants and took their Omni-Tools from the correct depot, they would then sprint for dear life to the main commons, where Commander Killovius was to be making a speech. The rumors that had been going around for the past few minutes revolved around the Human alliance making a direct, coordinated attack against Palaven, severing all communications. The remaining soldiers, numbering in the hundreds, would then take their place by lining up in rows of 10, standing still and stoic in front of a comm speaker, which would activate when Killovius decided enough were present to hear his message. The soldiers stood silently, some with armor nearly hanging off their bodies, some with blood trickling down their face and body from the beatings, and the rest with tears falling down their leathery faces.

None were allowed to make a sound. Almost immediately as they arrived, Commander Killovius began his inspiring speech.

"My brave soldiers…" The Commander began. "Humans have no regard for intelligent life, especially their own. I have received reports that some of their soldiers' charge into civilian populated areas armed with explosives, and kill themselves alongside hundreds of others. I tell you this for two reasons. Firstly, to dispel any forms of humility and mercy towards our mammalian adversaries, they are clever, and they are horrible."

The Turians still stood silently, they've had heard such reports before as well, which they had been programmed to allow their blood to boil by the inspiring words.

"Secondly, to warn you. The Humans have launched a coordinated attack against our homeworld and all of our territories, we've lost contact will all of them. Obviously, they've been assisted by the blue harlots who rule our galaxy in secret, and undoubtably supplied by the amphibious, bug-eyed lab dwellers. All that you know is likely destroyed, so you should feel no remorse or anger for killing every Human you may encounter from this moment forward."

"Commander is it…" One solder broke protocol by speaking.

"Beat him!" A drill sergeant shouted.

The resulting cadet, around 17 in age, was beaten until bloody and unconscious. His comrades didn't remove their eyes from the virtual speaker, not wishing to suffer a similar fate. The sergeant carried the bloody and bruised body out of the common room, perhaps dumping him in the medical wing, or perhaps dumping him in the trash compacter.

"Thank you, sergeant," Killovius spoke, before continuing.

"I won't lie to you men. The Human menace is powerful and deceptive, especially with the technology of the Salarians, this could mean that an attack on our base is imminent. I have also heard rumor that they deceived the other bases by using active camouflages, in other words, they disguised themselves as our own and walked right in."

The soldiers now began to appear worried, whilst stoic simultaneously. Could the person next to them be one of the accursed primates, or worse, one of the blue harlots?

"Thus, I am enacting a policy of no chances. If you see something suspicious, shoot it and suffer the consequences later. It is the only way what may be the last of our species can survive. Don't trust anyone that you don't know personally, any act of suspicion is to be solved immediately with death. Any vessel, even if it appears to be one of ours, is a trick. Shoot any and every vessel that approaches our moon, there are no friends anymore."

Some soldiers now visibly shook, and the tears fell faster, and the blood boiled hotter. The soldiers were being deceived, and they didn't even know it. Even if they did know it, if they questioned it, they would be killed, or worse beaten. A majority of the soldiers fell for the ruse, wanting nothing more than to slaughter the race that had supposedly slaughtered theirs. What knowledgeable Turians stood in the lines kept their non-existent lips shut, they would survive longer, they figured.

"Finally, men, I just want to say that is has been an honor serving with you for the past 6 years. Through thick and thin we've stood by one another and thus far kept our atmosphere of the Human menace, and I'll never be able to express my gratitude for it. Know that no matter what happens today, our Spirits will greet you in honor, and you'll live eternally with your ancestors in glory. Thank You, and may the Spirits' blessings be upon you." Killovius yelled.

The crowds began to cheer and yell. Stomping their feet and clashing their hands against one another. The Turians which discovered discrepancies in their Commander's speech imitated the meat-heads beside them, now knowing that their lives were free to be taken. Soon all of these men would be dead, Killovius meant what he said, the Spirits had better well prepare the welcome wagon.

Killovius exited from his console and resumed his seat at his table, pouring his 7th glass of Turian Brandy and resuming his brooding. He picked up a virtual frame on his desk, segregated from the stacks of physical datapads containing vital information and plans. It was a picture of his wife and daughter, the latter of which had been killed in an assault of the planet Mars. The Turians hoped to gain a foothold in the dusty planet, assuming the Humans would consolidate their forces to defend their homeworld.

This was, of course days before the Humans announced their alliance with the Asari and the Salarians. The plans and contracts had been made, but hadn't been announced. It was a massacre, the Turian battleships were met with immediate fire from Asari blockades and Human forces. Their vessels were soon boarded and massacred by both the Asari and Humans. Innocents and military were killed indiscriminately, though that was never mentioned in intergalactic news.

When Killovius's daughter was returned to him, her head had been bashed in by a human assault rifle before being shot point black in her face. She wasn't even a soldier, but a medic. Killovius thought this was the genesis of his hatred of Humanity, before he'd been a secret supporter of peace between the races.

This was incorrect however, as there was a belief, he had that was much more sinister. It was out of desperation that Killovius manufactured the belief that the Hierarchy was poisoning their own people. Around 20 years previously the Hierarcy government had begun to introduce small amounts of Chrysonite, an Asari mineral that some believed strengthened the internal structure in Turians, into the water supplies. Soon, after a unanimous decision by the non-democratically elected Hierarchy government, Chrysonite was added to the entire water supply of Turian kind.

There were some reports that Chrysonite caused weak breathing organs and even Eezo poisoning if not harvested properly, but the Asari Chrysonite companies had long since solved such a miniscule issue. It was also coincidently after this that the Turian military suffered a long line of defeats by the Human alliance. Not too long afterward, the Krogan homeworld of Tuchanka was conquered by the combined forces of Humanity and Salarian-kind. The planet had been weak because of a warlord-dominated government, and their defeat had seen the mass exile of Krogan to Turian controlled planets.

These Krogan refugees soon began to cause controversies in the planets they were sent to. Allegations of No-Go-Zones where Krogan crime festered, and assaults against innocent civilians became rampant. This splintered support of the Turian alliances, with many proponents of war demanding that the Krogan withdraw from the alliance, which the Hierarchy denied.

These Krogan controversies coupled with the string of Turian defeats made Killovius paranoid. His daughter being slaughtered seemed to be the last straw. He as well issued an order forbidding his men to drink water, except for the habit-forming sort. He also only allied himself with the Quarians, allowing a few of them to act as exchange officers in his base, which Ino'Sent was one.

Speaking of, soon there came a knock at the door. The rather cowardly officer, Ino'Sent had arrived to Killovius's office as ordered. The Commander allowed his entrance, and Ino activated the console, allowing himself in.

"Ino, I believe I ordered for you to cut all comm channels from this base" Killovius scowled.

"Yes, Killovius?" Ino shakily answered.

"Then why have you disobeyed me and allowed a connection to the homeland to remain open?" He bellowed.

"It was merely a precautionary measure, in case this was some impromptu drill from the higher-ups, I-I-I didn't mean to cause you distress"

"The Officer exchange program doesn't give you the privilege of disobeying by commands, even if you are one of those "higher-ups" in your government"

"W-well yes Commander, I completely understand, but I'm hearing broadcasts of civilian Omni-channels, none seem distressed. I rather thought you'd be pleased to hear the news, I mean after all, we wouldn't want to start a Hydrogenated war, would we?"

The Commander faced away from the Quarian officer, brooding out a window with the Brandy in his hand.

"Sit down, Ino"

"Thank you, Commander eh… but first shouldn't you issue the order to recall the attack vessels heading to Earth?"

"The starfighters will not be recalled Ino, my order still stands" Killovius spoke, turning to face the stuttering Quarian.

"Um…yes, well…uh. Excuse my saying it Commander, but I believe… uh… that is a rather… how shall I say… unintelligent way of looking at it Commander because… if Palaven was truly being invaded we'd be bombarded with… distress signals and such, we certainly wouldn't be hearing music… and talk shows…would we?" Ino spoke broken as he large and threatening Turian began to pace towards him.

The Turian crawled unto the sofa that the Quarian officer was sitting on the edge of, further seating himself closer to the shaking, smaller officer. His breath smelled of brandy, as his avian face was close enough to Ino's oxygen regulator to breathe it in.

"Are you certain of this? Vas Personyl?"

"Eh… yes I am fairly confident… in my… hypothesis"

"What if it is?"

"Well then an attack on the Human homeworld would constitute… but then the comms… Oh sir, I believe something very, very wrong has happened"

The Turian broke his contact with the lower officer, slinking back into the opposite edge of the sofa, before standing up and returning to his desk. Automatically grabbing one of his 3 bottles of Turian Brandy, and filling his 8th glass.

"Has anybody told you that you shake something fierce Ino? Come share a drink with me, or perhaps some Chrysonite-free water"

The Quarian frantically stood from his cowering position on the sofa, and began to swiftly approach his commanding officer stopping only a few feet away from his desk. He then placed both of his three-fingered hands upon the space on his stomach, where the Quarian heart was located, and bowed slightly. Such was the customary salute of Quarian authority.

"Commander Killovius, it is my duty, as a loyal officer of the Migrant Fleet, and proud vessel Personyl to instill the recall codes… even if it means disobeying a direct order from you… unfortunately… sir" Ino spoke, the first time Killovius had sensed a modicum of confidence in his voice.

The Quarian then retraced his steps back to the door from which he'd entered and reactivated the console, only to find it exposing its red light, signaling its locked nature. He turned briefly to Killovius, who only held a neutral expression upon his otherwise emotionless face. He then walked to the opposite end of the room, where another door console led to the outside of the artificial atmosphere covering the moon, to find it locked as well.

He turned his head to face the Commander once again, still holding the same expression, though his own was one of discomfort and fear, masked by his facial covering.

He then made a final escape attempt, whilst still maintaining a confident stride, not exposing his massive fear. There was an emergency exit in the right corner of the room, which led to the underground network of fuel pipes, only when there was a fire or an assault of some sort. He pulled a switch behind a compartment hidden by a wall, and patiently waited for a section of the floor to lower, exposing a staircase leading to a mechanic room, or some sort.

He turned his face one final time to face his malevolent Commander, who had since taken his sight from the Quarian, and returned it to his now 9th glass.

"Eh… right well… I am afraid I must ask you for the recall codes, as well as… the door console PIN, do you have… them on you?" The Quarian asked, slowly walking back to the spot he stood at when he still had a modicum of confidence.

"I told you to relax, you'd get much farther in life if you'd just listen to me you know? I am the only one that knows the code, and I have no intention of telling anybody"

"Sir… this isn't a game… there could be very real… very horrible consequences for us all if we don't recall the vessels… I am afraid I must insist that you give me the codes"

The Commander didn't respond to the plea of the Quarian officer, he only removed a singular datapad from his desk, unceremoniously dropping it to the floor, still maintaining eye contact with the exchange officer.

What lay underneath the datapad was an authentic, 2265 Parthenax 4 shot, revolving pistol. An extremely rare lazer weapon issued only to the most loyal and decorated of Turian officers. Killovius made certain that the decorative weapon was in full view of the cowardly Quarian, to which the sight froze him in place.

"Uh… Commander… Am I to understand that you… intend to threaten me with that… uh… lovely pistol?"

The Commander stood up from his seat and walked behind the still frozen stiff Ino, placing his hands upon his shoulders and patting them gently. He then returned to his position on the sofa, not bothering to invite Ino to join him.

"Oh Ino'Sent, my dear Ino'Sent. Did it occur to you that the Council of the Hierarchy is undoubtably discovering that I ordered the starfighters to launch Hydrogenated Eezo missiles in over 100 major Human lands? When they discover what I've done they'll of course try to stop them, which luckily, they can't, with you ordering them to cut off their comms. When that happens, they'll discover that there isn't anything to be done to stop them, and they'll have no choice but to preemptively strike against Earth, and destroy Humanity from the face of the Earth"

The Quarian then eventually turned to face the obviously raving and mad Commander Uae, slowly approaching him, but keeping his distance from the sofa. They were both looking one another in the eye, or what Killovius could manage considering Ino's face mask.

"Do you know what the famous Turian general Richtofim Eurillis once said?"

"No… I don't believe they taught that in my… vessel's education"

"He said that war is best left to the ones will the will to achieve victory. The politicians, the parasites buying their way into the Hierarcy, and the spoiled brats being born into it. They don't realize that Humanity will always be a threat to us, they are not a peaceful species, they are not worthy of sharing a galaxy with us. Though I may seem to be an enemy now, I trust that in the coming centuries I will be remembered as a hero, one who didn't bend to the will of the cowardly Turians hiding in their Ivory towers on Palaven. I cannot and will not allow Humanity or Asari or even Salarian kind to corrupt our youth and contaminate our sacred Turian oxygen!"

With that, Killovius downed his current glass of Turian Brandy, before finally beckoning Ino'Sent to join him on it. To which the Quarian reluctantly agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Hierarchy

By Kachimoochi

Chapter III

**Palaven: Turian Homeworld, Vimomus: Secondary Capital City, 2 Hours from The Box**

While the world lay in terror, those still alive kept themselves comfortable in the only way they knew how.

General Jonovius Waynion stretched out on his king-sized bed, cracking his cartilage in supreme comfort. He hadn't sat in hours, and hadn't slept in days, but now it was all over. The Hierarchy had ceased their present training drills, and finally the weary General could rest.

General Jonovius, though ideally a carefree man, was nevertheless extremely hardworking. He would spend nearly every waking moment of his being writing Omni-Reports, conducting military drills, and even being reduced to giving tours of the bases to their Krogan and Quarian allies.

The General never complained through any of it, he had something to prove. His father, his father, and every father before theirs were war heroes. They earned their honor and medals through saving their fellow soldiers lives, taking valuable checkpoints, and generally being the finest leaders, the Hierarchy military had ever seen.

The Second Palaven War, The Salarian-Turian Border Dispute, even The Asari Redevelopment Conflict found themselves led by members of Jonovius's family, bringing his family no end of respect and honor. When he was a boy, dozens if not hundreds of his fellow Turians would come to his home at every hour of every day offering his father and grandfather gifts of thanks, for either leading their armies or saving their soldiers.

Such a thing left an impression on such an impressionable boy. He wanted to be a hero like his patriarchs, by any means necessary. He'd have a recurring fantasy of invading Earth, the Human home world and pillaging it to its very core, bringing continued honor to his family. Along the way he figured he capture an entire continent and name it after his family, save the lives of countless Turians on the battlefield, and perhaps even use this as a way to becoming Primarch.

But until that day he'd bide his time, serving as a servant to the higher-ups until he earned his honor. It was a stressful existence, his family never accepted anything less than perfection, yet ironically weren't above bribing people to accept Jonovius for his faults. This only drove his ambitions further and more extreme, he'd have his honor, but in the meantime his feet still hurt.

He wasn't alone, he shared his comfort and his apartment with his close, personal, intimate friend. He racked his brain trying to remember her name, but considering almost all Turian names ended in -ius or -ion, he imagined it was an acceptable excuse to ask again.

"Uh…hey baby…what is your designation again?" The Jonovius dreamily asked.

A semi-clothed Turian female pressed herself against the doorway to the bathroom before answering.

"First Lieutenant Yuno Liveo, of Palaven base #76, I can't imagine you'd forget, you were screaming it constantly" The female Turian said seductively comically.

"Heh yeah, well you certainly can make a smart man stupid" The General raised his head and flirted in response.

Just then, Jonovius's detached Omni-Tool began to beep, in a musical fashion, that particular rhythm signifying an active comm channel. The General let out a considerably miserable groan, before taking a pillow and attempting to smother himself with it. It was an act of course; he couldn't die until he gained his honor.

The General and his mistress prayed that the tune would cease within a few seconds, but then minutes passed and demanded Jonovius's attention. The half-naked Turian began to cloth herself in her military armor, imagining their tryst had reached its terminus. This elicited an even more painful groan from the unsatisfied General, wishing for the misery to end as soon as possible.

"You want me to get that Jonovius?" Yuno asked.

"As long as it isn't my wife, you HAVE to" Jonovius responded, half muffled under the silken headrest.

Yuno fixed armor plates to her shoulders and legs as she sauntered her way to the ringing cylinder, holding a single plate in her mouth as she answered the call.

"Hello? Er…Yes General Jonovius is here, but I'm afraid he's busy. I'm his uh…new secretary- "She was cut off.

"HEY! Chuvim you sonofagun, how's it going. Aw never mind about that she's a new secretary, I'm showing her the facets of her new job." Jonovius awkwardly chuckled, after snatching the tool from Yuno's hand, eliciting a glare from her.

"So, what is it, I was kinda hoping I'd have at least an hour to sleep. Uh-huh…okay…Wait what!...Plan R?...The Primarch is?...Well then call the Commander of the base uh… Killovius or something, do I gotta do everything?" The General responded to the silent speaker on the opposite end of the comm.

"The comms are dead? Try again, he's on the moon for Spirit's sake."

Suddnly Jonovius's face stood silent and stiff, as if his brain had connected two wires together. Yuno was originally too preoccupied with clothing herself in the restrictive armor, but after minutes of silence, she looked upon her lover in shock. He held the Omni-Tool to his face but didn't speak, a voice shouted on the other end demanding his attention.

"Uh yeah…sorry I'm still here. You're certain it's Plan R? Not something else? Well, you know the drill then, set the counter to Red Alert and assemble the Council, I'm coming right now, stay safe Chuvim" The General concluded, deactivating the comm, and placing the Omni-Tool on his wrist once more.

He turned his head to meet the concerned gaze of his latest attraction, studying his expression puzzlingly.

"What's wrong?" Yuno asked.

"Aw nothing, nothing at all. I'm just going to visit The Box, make sure everything is going smoothly while I was gone."

"You just left 3 hours ago, and It's 6 in the morning"

"Yeah well, the world could end in a lot less time" Jonovius said, pushing and patting her back gently, guiding her to the exit of his apartment.

"But Jonovius, I'm gonna be up all night. Who am I gonna play with" The seductress spoke softly into his auditory orifice.

"Heh-heh-heh, I tell you what darlin', you get the countdown started, and ol' Jonovius will be back just in time for meltdown, how's that?"

She exited the apartment just as he door console shut quickly behind her, she knew the General was a secretive man, especially concerning her, so she understood his paranoia. She looked in a nearby shiny surface to make certain her uniform was straight, and made her way back to her respective base, never to speak of the past hour's events.

**Palaven: Turian Homeworld, The Box: Underground Military Base and Conference Hall, Codename: War-room**

Deep within the underground of Palaven, a meeting to decide the fate of the entire universe was being held, the lives of trillions lay in the balance, and even more would suffer the consequences of failure. They needed to be smart, and they needed to be careful.

The Box was a massive installation hidden under the Capital city of Caever, used only by the Primarch and the Council with other military personnel as well. One wouldn't be remiss in stating that this was the center of Turian civilization, such is where Turians went to war, escaped war, or indeed planned war, it was the War Room.

By this point, the Primarch and the Council had become aware that Turian Starfighters were en route to the Human home world with Hydrogen Eezo missiles, primed to fire. In addition, they weren't responding to comm channels, and were ordered to do so by Commander Killovius Uae.

There was mass confusion, the Council and the Primarch didn't know what to think, but they knew they had to act fast, lest they become the supervillains of history. They ordered General Jonovius to arrive to The Box to enlighten them to their situation, as it was indeed grim.

General Waynion had mere minutes to figure out the cause of the disturbance, though he'd already figured such before he even arrived. Not a minute after he decended the elevator 1000 meters under Palaven, he was bombarded with voice clips and dossiers, which he dodged and avoided until he made it to the War Room.

As the General arrived he took note of the cryptic environment. The War Room was a large rectangular room, with a map of Palaven on one wall, and a map of Earth on another. On the map of Earth, hundreds of red dots littered the angular masses which comprised the Human home world.

In the center of the room lay a massive round table, which held 17 seats. 14 for the Council, 1 for the Primarch, 1 for Jonovius himself, and 1 for a guest yet to arrive. They each had their names upon placards in front of them, noting their name, position, both in a Human language and the Turian native tongue.

The Turians were all elderly, the Council especially as it was a collection of the wisest and most wealthy elders in all of the Turian territories. The Primarch himself, Primarch Incompitus Imbicilico, was himself middle aged, having inherited the position from his father, as was tradition. They all had expressions of calmness radiating on their persons, despite the grave circumstances that brought them to this conference.

The Primarch Imbicilico beckoned General Waynion to sit in his assigned seat, to which the General did, reading through dossier after dossier as he walked. Imbicilico picked up the miniature gong placed at the table and hit gently with a small gavel, symbolically presenting his authority over the lesser beings, as well as signifying the commencement of their latest meeting.

"By my count, all but our guest are accounted for. Am I missing anybody?" Primarch Imbicilico announced.

A random member of the Turian Council rose from his seat, pulled a dossier from his lap and began to recite roll call, to which all answered.

"Everybody but the Human Ambassador is accounted for, the chief Frumentarii are located off world, but can be contacted at a moment's notice." The Council member finalized.

"Human Ambassador?" General Waynion questioned silently to himself.

"General Waynion, please enlighten us on the present situation" The Primarch commanded.

"Uh…right away sir" Jonovius said as he took a moment to clear his throat. "Approximately 1 hour and 13 minutes ago, Commander Killovius Uae of the Ryunoi military base issued an order for a garrison of Turian Class VI Round-Headed Starfighters to enter the Mass Relay to the Sol Galaxy. The Starfighters were enacting their routine protocols when they received the order, as they were patrolling the Sol Relay as part of Operation Mammal, as you know sir."

The Primarch nodded in agreement.

"Eh…right. Uh…from what we can gather, the mission they were given seems to be a coordinated attack against the Human home world of Earth, at these strategic locations, allegedly chosen for their high population density or military significance" The General continued, throat drying with each passing word.

By now members of the Council began to chat amongst themselves, either on the topic of the matter at hand, or some other such gossip. Only Primarch Imbicilico payed his absolute attention.

"Yes…uh…each Starfighter carries 60 kilotons of Hydrogenated Eezo missiles, which will not only destroy their targets, but infect surrounding areas with Eezo radiation. Uh…if you'll all turn your attention to the map of Earth, you'll see the targets mapped with red triangles, and their secondary targets marked with the green triangles. The Starfighters will penetrate the Sol Galaxy in approximately 29 minutes" The now breathless Jonovius concluded.

The Primarch now presented a scowl upon his face, furrowing his nonexistent brow in ferocity.

"General Waynion, I find this extremely disturbing and unfathomable; I was under the impression that I and I alone possessed the ability to order such an attack!" Imbicilico spat.

"Uh…y-y-yes absolutely sir…a-a-and though I hate to pass judgement when all of the evidence isn't present, the evidence that is available…shows that Commander Killovius has… uh… exceeded his authority" Jonovius stuttered, not making eye contact with his Supreme Ruler.

"Yes, it appears that he has, to an extent and an ability I wouldn't have imagined possible" Imbicilico continued.

"Well, y-yes I understand your anger, but uh… he has followed the provisions of Plan R" Jonovius inexplicably defended.

"Plan…R…?"

"Er…yes sir, Plan R is a protocol stating that if and only if, an attack so massive and horrible is committed against the Turian Empire, and the ordinary chain of command is disrupted beyond any doubt or reparation, a lower ranking officer is given the authority to order an attack involving weapons of mass destruction with impunity"

Primarch Imbicilico only offered a confused and annoyed glace at the profusely sweating General, who then began scratching at the spaces between his armor plates profusely.

"Certainly, you remember sir, I believe your wife announced the protocol after she commented during your national birthday celebration that we must defend our race against any threat and by any means necessary" Jonovius innocently offered.

Imbicilico turned his gaze and head away from the eyes staring upon him. In truth, Imbicilico hadn't told anybody about the genesis of the protocol except for General Waynion, and felt a pang of embarrassment of his wife being in part responsible for the major mistake.

Jonovius was also confused by the Primarch's strange reaction, eventually excusing it as anxiety due to the severity of the situation.

"Er…yes so in other words it was meant to be a safeguard" Jonovius summarized, breaking an awkward silence.

"A safeguard?" Imbicilico yelled in panic.

"Oh…I…well, I admit the Turian element in this equation has failed us, but if I may say, the idea of the protocol was to prove to the round-skulls that they couldn't surprise attack us and escape retribution because there wasn't anybody to order retaliation" Jonovius defended.

"Yes, well…I suppose a great lesson has been learned, somebody remind me to revise the protocol to prevent this from occurring again" The Primarch directed to the Council. "I assume the attack has been cancelled?" He continued.

"Uh…well no sir… they were originally holding at a checkpoint waiting for an order to come, and once Killovius gave his, they didn't require any extra orders to obey. They have been instructed to carry out their mission no matter the cost" The General said, once again breaking gaze.

"Why haven't you issued an official recall code!" The Primarch demanded.

"Well, as I said sir, we have been since unable to reach to comm channels on the Starfighters"

"WHY!?"

"Uh…if you can recall sir, one of the orders within Plan R is to sever all communications with the outside world once the order has been given, so as to prevent any false orders confusing the pilots, I mean after all the Salarians are masters at voice modification. Uh…uh… there is a way to prevent the Starfighters from continuing but it is by issuing a three-digit code registered exclusively on the mail pilot's Omni-Tool, which we don't have"

"DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE NO WAY OF CONTACTING THE STARFIGHTERS!?"

"Uh…uh…yes sir, I am afraid that is how the cookie has crumbled thus far" The General chuckled out of nervousness.

The Primarch only offered the squeamish General a stare of death and rage, with Inbicilico huffing and puffing uncontrollably.

"W-w-we are going through every combination as to which the code could be, but there are 17,000 different combinations, and it will take our finest Omni-Consoles to transmit them all in about 2 days" Jonovius continued.

"How long will it take for the Starfighters to reach the Sol Galaxy again?"

"Uh…now…23 minutes…sir"

"Do we have contact with this Commander Uae?"

"Uh…we don't any longer sir"

"Then how did you come about this information then?"

"Yes…uh…mere minutes after he gave the order, he issued a transcript of a speech to Palaven Central Command, er… if it pleases the Primarch and The Council I will recite the part of the transcript that was delivered to us"

Jonovius then activated his Omni-Tool, a difficult task to accomplish as his hands and arms had begun to jerk and shake out of extreme nervousness. Eventually he activated the projector from his wrist mounted devise and projected the message upon the main console in the round table, as well as reciting it.

_**Oh yes, you parasites and you paupers of whom bleed our brave fighters and loyal citizens of their worth, they are away, and there isn't any force in any universe that can stop what is about to happen. In order to preserve our way of life which we've kept undisturbed for thousands of years, I beseech you gentlemen to finish what I've started and launch a holocaust of the remaining Humans, Asari, and Salarians in the Sol Galaxy, lest we become the victims of the childish rage of the entire galaxy. My loyal men will give you the best head start I can offer you, over 1,000 kilotons of Hydrogenated Eezo, vaporizing as much of Humanity as it can muster, I must trust you to clean up the scraps yourself. Let us ride into history, for we've no other choice. If the Spirits will bless us, we shall live in superiority and harmony, basking in the everlasting glory and sanctity of our purity and essence of our sacred Turian Oxygen.**_

"Ahem…we are still trying to find out the meaning of that…uh…final statement…sir"

"There is no purpose in trying to decipher anything, this man is obviously a PSYCHOTIC!" The Primarch roared.

The General then began to guffaw in both genuine surprise and nervousness. He retook his seat, and did his best to clear his mind and focus on his next words, as the entirety of the The Council stared at him in discontent.

"If I may say…sir… I don't believe it's fair to lob such dishonorable accusations against an otherwise loyal and decorated member of our military until we have all of the evidence…sir"

"GENERAL WAYNION! You gave me your wholehearted assurances that the Reliability Tests wouldn't go above my authority"

"Well…if I may say sir… I don't believe it's necessarily fair to throw out an entire protocol just because an irresponsible person misused it, especially since it could be essential to our survival" The now calm Jonovius gave his opinion.

The Primarch turned away in disgust, but also accepted that it was a moot point.

"I demand to speak to Commander Killovius IMMEDIATELY AND PERSONALLY!"

"I-I'm afraid that's impossible…sir"

"GENERAL WAYNION, I AM RAPIDLY BECOMING LESS AND LESS INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU PRECIEVE TO BE POSSIBLE!"


End file.
